Prostate Play 101: Section 1: Finding the Prostate

The prostate, the p-spot, the male g-spot… several terms for the same walnut sized gland a short distance inside the ass on men.  I considered showing the anatomical pictures.. but they suck. And they make my blog look clinical and the last thing I want is for viewers to feel like they are visiting the proctologist.

Preparation: This is a pretty big departure from normal for most men. If you are exploring by yourself remember this should be fun and it should feel good. If you are playing with a partner and want to try prostate play, you may have to remind him that it isn’t weird or wrong. Some men are very standoffish about anything going near their asshole.. so approach it with some kind of love and care. You will also want to either trim and smooth your nails completely or wear some gloves (and if you have really long nails, you can put a cotton ball over them to be even safer). Lube is an absolute necessity for any anal play, though advance anal players may be able to get by with just some spit and a prayer. (I do not recommend this. Even a micro tear in the rectum can cause BIG problems.. so consider a lube made for anal.. and nothing that numbs things.)

Wait… what?!?

Yes, the prostate lies inside the male rectum. The easiest way to find it the first time is to lie down on your back (partner, have him lay down) and warm up. Rub the perineum (the area between balls and asshole) and the asshole as well. Grab some lube, and enjoy the sensations. When you (he) feels relaxed enough slowly press your finger into the asshole. You can push in with your hand in any position, but you want to have your palm facing up. You can do some gentle thrusting if you like, but thrusting isn’t necessary to find the prostate at all. Once your finger (or fingers, or toy.. whatever you are using) is inside and your palm is facing up it should be as simple as curving your finger upwards toward the base of the penis.All of the medical guides say 2 inches in, but that is no guarantee. I know my prostate is actually a little over 3 inches in, and your (partner, your man’s) prostate could be closer or even further in than mine. You may have to search and probe for it, but you will know when you find it.

What does it feel like on my finger?


Well, you won’t actually be touching the prostate. It lies just on the other side of the rectal wall, but when you feel for it you should feel a firm, symmetric ball of “rubbery” feeling tissue. It will make it easier to find if you remember that the area around the prostates location will be quite a bit softer feeling.

What does it feel like when I stimulate the prostate?

I’ve heard it described many ways… for me, it is a mixture of the feeling I get while peeing and the feeling I get right when I start to cum. Others have described it as “heaven”, “nirvana”, “like my cock is being played with, but no one is touching it”. There isn’t a one size fits all explanation here, but I can assure you that if/when you find it.. You will know.

What next?

Well, explore a little bit. Enjoy it. Try different types of pressure and different methods of stimulation. I’ll have another post sometime soon detailing different methods of prostate stimulation and even a couple of my favorite toys for some out of this world prostate play.

If you have a question or think I left something out.. Call me out in the comments or ask your question. Let’s bring some good insight to male sexuality!

For the next piece in this series check out

Prostate Play 101: Section 2 – Types of Stimulation

And the last piece will be about the best prostate massagers so you can really explore prostate play.