Cruizing X-Biz one day, I noticed a piece saying Fun Toys had released a new version of their G-Vibe. The new one is the G-Vibe Noir Limited Edition, made with firmer silicone, available only in black, and with an added motor.
I wanted it bad. I love the original G-Vibe, so I reached out to FunToys for a review unit and they graciously sent one out in exchange for a free review.
- 1 So: What Is The G-Vibe Noir?
- 2 How Is The G-Vibe Noir Used?
- 3 Well, What Is It Made Of?
- 4 And How Do I Take Care Of A G-Vibe Noir?
- 5 G-Vibe Vs. G-Noir
- 6 Actual Experience With G-Vibe Noir
- 7 Overall (TL;DR) Opinion Of The G-Vibe Noir
So: What Is The G-Vibe Noir?
The G-Vibe Noir is an updated version of the original G-Vibe, designed to be able to hit several erogenous zones at once. The original worked fairly well for me with it’s two motor V-tip design, and the silicone was nice. You can read that review by clicking here:
Fun Toys G-Vibe Review
The biggest difference between the original G-Vibe and the G-Vibe Noir is that the Noir has 3 motors whereas the original only had 2:
The Noir is also made of a firmer silicone and supposed to have 100% more power. .. We’ll cover that in a bit.
How Is The G-Vibe Noir Used?
Well, What Is It Made Of?
The G-Vibe Noir is crafted out of 100% body safe hypo-allergenic silicone and ABS plastic.
And How Do I Take Care Of A G-Vibe Noir?
Cleaning The G-Vibe Noir:
You should stick with antibacterial soap and hot water, a 10% bleach solution, toy cleaner, or isopropyl alcohol. Don’t boil it or throw it in the dishwasher… high temps can affect the internal electronics.
Storing The G-Vibe Noir:
The box it comes in is pretty damn nifty:
but the G-Vibe Noir also comes with a satin-y storage bag:
Charging The G-Vibe Noir:
Plug the included USB cord into a powered USB port (on your computer, tv, a wall wart… wherever.) and then plug the other end into the base of the toy as such:
Lubing The G-Vibe Noir
Stick with water based lubes for safety, though you could use oil based lubes if you endeavor to try the y in your butt. Silicone based lubes are generally a no no, but you can spot test if you really must!
G-Vibe Vs. G-Noir
Obviously, the folks at Fun Toys were hoping to up the ante a bit. A 3rd motor, firmer silicone… completely waterproof; Is the Noir all it’s cracked up to be though?
I don’t have a fancy machine to measure the vibrations or anything super scientific like that… I do have hands though, and in hand the G-Vibe Noir does feel a teeny bit more powerful.
Again, no way to really prove the difference… but the Noir is firmer. Personally, I don’t think it’s firm enough to warrant shouting from the rooftops about how much firmer it is.
Actual Experience With G-Vibe Noir
I started by just turning it on and playing with the power levels… the settings are the exact same as the original G-Vibe. You press the + button to turn the toy on and go up a level in intensity (or you can hold it down to “slide” up the intensity) and you press the – button to go down (you can hold it too!). The EKG looking button changes the pattern.
I still suck at describing patterns, but there is an even bigger issue here…
I can’t describe patterns when they are different every time.
This stems from having 3 motors that can get out of sync… patterns become weird off beat pulses and buzzes, complete with weird noises. Occasionally the motors even manage to get off sync in just the right way that the vibes feel like they cancel each other.
If motor a has it’s weight slung to the outside while motor b has it’s slung to the exact opposite point… the vibes counteract each other.
When they aren’t canceling each other out though, the vibes felt pretty good….
For Nipple Stimulation:
Mediocre at best, and there’s no way in hell I can hit both at the same time like their promotional materials show.
For Cock Shaft Stimulation:
I really feel like using my shaft to split the “legs” of the toy is where the G-Vibe Noir shines. Having vibes hitting both sides of my cock feels wonderful.
For Cock Head Stimulation:
It’s mediocre. With toys like the Pulse and even We-Vibe Tango to rumble and vibe the head of my cock, it takes some real power to make a vibration feel worth it. That being said, if I held the G-Vibe Noir against the underside of my cock with my frenulum pressed as deep into the V as possible… it felt pretty damn good.. but wasn’t enough to make me cum.
And Because Everyone Wants To Know, Anal & Prostate Stimulation:
Okay… the G-Vibe Noir is really incooperative for booty play. The “legs” try to start spreading after the first sphincter, and end up feeling mildly stabby at the internal sphincter. It’s not a good feeling, and made me want to throw the thing across the room and then go piss on it like a dog, but I remembered it is waterproof.
Once it is in though, it feels pretty damn good…. when the vibrations are all synced up right. If they aren’t, it’s just a buzzy blah mess.
The legs on it spread and do provide some pretty direct vibration to the prostate… but the pressure isn’t firm enough to accomplish a prostate orgasm.
Overall (TL;DR) Opinion Of The G-Vibe Noir
It is a bit more powerful than the original G-Vibe, but I don’t see it as being vastly improved. While the original blew me away (I literally had one of my strongest orgasms ever with it) the G-Vibe Noir just didn’t…. but I think that’s a case of me getting used to the types of stimulation that the G-Vibe toys offer.
I’m a fan of having a black version of the toy, but why not make black available on the original too?
Overall it isn’t bad toy, but I think instead of adding the 3rd motor they could have replaced the two motors in the legs with some really rumbly motors.